Summer is here, and my holidays are about to start. Due to my profession, the summer break doesn’t just signal a pause from work and the end of another school year; a full circle is complete.
I have been anticipating my summer holidays so greatly that their imminent commencement found me contemplating everything holidays are or are meant to be. We aspire to do so much during these holy days, to fit in all these long overdue experiences and fun, that we sometimes forget to take an actual break.
The stress of the holidays is a common experience. I remember hearing about it when I was younger and finding it puzzling. Now, as I prepare for my own summer break, I find myself experiencing a subtle level of stress and irritation. It’s a feeling many of us can relate to, especially when we’re taking time off work for a vacation.
Why do people feel stressed about their holidays?
The grand anticipation of the days vacant of work but full of all the things that promise to bring us fun, relaxation, formidable experiences, amazing meetings with friends, quality time with family, cultural enrichments, and alone time is the root of this anxiety. We suffer from the holiday FOMO, and I caught myself doing exactly that.
The holidays are so precious, especially when you are burned out, that we feel the urge to make every second of it absolutely worth it. My plans for my holidays included spending precious time with my family, playing abundantly with my son, meeting up with friends, exercising every day, deep cleaning my whole apartment, decluttering and organizing cupboards and shelves, working on my blog, reading my books, spending time doing nothing, visiting some exhibitions, going on one-day trips around Berlin, and then setting off for our summer trip. Oh, did I mention organizing my phone’s photos in folders? I realize that these are all privileges, and the pressure to make the most of them can be overwhelming.
On the third day of my holidays, after having put my flat back in order, I felt tired and overwhelmed by my busy schedule, which included less relaxation and enjoyment and more stress about ticking off tasks on my summer list.
I had to remind myself that holidays are about taking a break, regardless of whether you’re travelling to a dreamy destination or having a staycation. I found that setting realistic expectations and prioritizing relaxation over productivity helped me enjoy my holidays more. It’s about giving yourself permission to loosen up, take deep breaths, and enjoy yourself and meaningful time with significant others. Holidays are about being in the here and now without already planning the next best activity that will make this break one to remember.
The thought that holidays are not about escaping reality but enjoying reality is freeing and comforting. It is also true. We are in charge of building our own reality, so wanting to escape from it is a rather fruitless chase of the unrealistic that only frustration can bring about.
Hi Ioanna,
thank you for this opportunity to know ourself a little better
Personally I would anticipate tasks in my life even in holidays as you described. Therefore I planned a lot of events and I tried to tick all the boxes.
It was vain and I felt frustrated: I could not balance family/spouse/personal life. I felt overwhelmed by lack of time and serenity.
For 2 years I have been discovering to let go in holidays: Stop planning my holidays, stop comparing my life to that of others, stop judging me, stop feeling FOMO…
Here is my recipe:
I have kept only one point of interest in my personal life ( e.g. reading stories to children) which was accepted by my husband and family.
I have learned to accept activities I was not interested in and my husband/ children liked to practice (e.g. sailing). In addition to that I made myself available to others the rest of the time. Thus a new internal balance occurred each year.
I have accepted my limits and serenity returned.
Atb
Hi Isabelle,
Thank you for sharing your way of managing stress during the holidays! I like how you have reflected on your need to let go of all holiday activities taht are certainly fun, but bring about stress and take away the joy of just enjoying doing less than on a regular day. It is great that you are sharing your “recipe” with me and I truly hope that it has been working for you just great so far!